Traditional Marriage

Traditional Marriage

Ruth Yared

African View, December 15, 2023

Lobola is a marriage tradition that has been practiced for centuries by cultures in southern Africa. It is a kind of payment called a bride wealth. In this tradition, the family of the groom pays the family of the bride before a marriage takes place. In earlier times cattle were often used as payment.

Today cash is accepted. However, Lobola is not regarded as a purchase. The payment is thought of as a symbol of the union between the families of the bride and the groom.

It is a complicated and formal process with strict rules. The two families first come together to negotiate, or discuss, an agreement. These negotiations are done in writing. They usually are required even if the families live close together and have known each other for years. Dignity and respect between the two sides are very important. There are special customs meant to ensure that the negotiations between families remain friendly.

The parents of the bride and the groom normally do not take part in the negotiations. Other family members, such as uncles, older brothers, or cousins, generally act as representatives. Lobola payments often are used to fund the wedding celebration or to help the bride start her own household. Although an increasing number of marriages take place without the observance of Lobola, the custom is still widespread throughout southern Africa.

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